Scared about being drunk…

It’s kind of strange…I’m scared about being drunk… and I love it at the same time. You may think I’m scared about being drunk ‘cause I had alcoolism problems in my family but I don’t. You may also think I did something really bad and I just can’t stop to regret but I don’t. You may finally think that I always get sick when I drink… but I don’t.

Scared… ‘cause I do loose all my sense and I can act really stupid.
… about doing something I’ll regret.
… about driving when I’m drunk. I know I can call you if there’s something but I can’t. So
hard sometimes. Don’t think about taxi, just hate it!
… of your mad eyes looking in my eyes when I’m getting on your nerves! Feeling so sorry
and it’s always getting worst!

Love … the way it makes me feel. I mean the way I can forget all my problems in life, especially
in love.
… when I can appreciate stupid things we’ve never seen before being drunk.
… to have a good laugh for… um… for… no reason!
… to dance and feel free
… last call! :)

Well… I may be scared…but I still love to drink! Don’t be scared…I’ll always be there for a good beer! Promise! Loves to be scared? Maybe… Drink, drunk and drive? Think of it!

Life in time (Part III)

Tomorrow will be my life.

I may think about what tomorrow will be, but I’ll always get wrong. No one can predict what’s going to happen. I may split with my boyfriend, loose my job, even die… No one knows. Sleep without thinking about tomorrow it’s what we have to do even if sometimes it’s getting hard. When I say it’s getting hard I’m talking for the one who love to have control on their life, like I do. Tomorrow is like a thousand surprises…if you are lucky you’ll like most of them! Remember… every action has a reaction, tomorrow may be the reaction.

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-Take it has it comes. You have no control.

-What yo thought may be different from what you'll get.

-Sleep without thinking about tomorrow.

-Thousand surprises, lucky ones?

-Tomorrow is a reaction. Deal with it.

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Future is still something important. In past, I made actions maybe without thinking about consequences, I'm gonna pay tomorrow. In past, I made actions with thinkig about consequences, maybe I'll regret or maybe I'll feel better. No one knows!

Control may kill who you are…

Everyone knows it … control is something really dangerous in life. I’m learning it days after days. It’s not a secret for someone I’m that kind of girl who needs to have control on everything. Everything was all right since I’ve stopped school for this year. Control is flying far away from me and it’s getting really hard for me.
One little year… you may think that there won’t be any important consequences on me… but actually there are some. I’m scare of everything and I can’t live one day without thinking about one year later … that girl who had control on everything and who lived her life has it came is lost.
Control may be something good in someone possession but when this person grew up with control in possession is loosing it, it seems like she’s loosing everything. I lost control, I’m loosing everything. Control was good for me. Now that I have no control… it’s killing who I am day after day.
Control is killing who I am.
I’m lost… will I find it back one day?